What Do You Want From Me?- A Mother's Letter To Society.

Dear Society, 

I'm a Mother to two beautiful children, one being 3 and the other being 9 months. I love my children with my whole being and would give my world so they can have the best life possible. I love being a Mum. What I don't love is you select few members of society who love to 'Mum shame', no matter what we do, we're always doing something wrong. I'll give you a few examples. 

I decided to stay at home with my children instead of going back to work, this means I 'only had a child for the benefits' and I 'just sit on my arse all day'. But if I decided to go back to work, I would have been told I was neglecting my children and was just sending them off for someone else to look after. What do you want from me? 

I decided to bottle feed my two children. Not through lack of trying but simply because with my first, my milk didn't come in and with my second, it hurt too much to feed her. If I were to carry on breast feeding both of my children would have starved and I would have been accused of neglect but because I decided to feed my children through a bottle I'm a 'bad mum' because 'breast is best'. What do you want from me? 

I had two csections, neither really by my own choice. If I hadn't have had csections both of my children wouldn't be alive but because I didn't give birth naturally I'm 'not a real mother'. What do you want from me? 

My three year old has some really amazing tantrums in public and you give me the evil eye or tut as you pass because I 'can't control my child' but if I were to shout at him, smack him or punish him in some way in public, you would judge me and probably threaten with social services. What do you want from me? 

These are just a few of the experiences I've had personally over the last three years. I am trying my best to raise two of the people who will make up future generations so I would be greatful if you kept your opinions of my mothering skills to yourselves. I do not wish to hear 'tut', I do not wish to hear 'breast is best', I do not wish to hear 'you're not a real mother'. I wish to hear the sound of encouragement, the words 'you're doing a great job' and 'your choices do not make you any less of a mum'.

So, society, next time you see a mother with her children, do not think you have the right to weigh in on her life because, quite simply, you don't. Stop Mum shaming, stop making us feel inadequate, stop making us feel like we're failing. We're doing the best for our children. 

Yours truly,

Every single Mum on the planet.